Got Milk? You better not!

Heather Mills McCartney, possibly the dumbest human on the face of the earth, has come up with another great idea: stop drinking milk. I don't know what her reasoning behind it is (hopefully it's better than her anti-sealing argument) but chances are, 99% of people are going to strongly disagree with her. Milk is absolutely important to a healthy lifestyle. Ask anyone with osteoporosis if they wish they drank more milk as a kid. They will say yes. If Heather gets her way, all the kids who fall down at the playground will have their bones shatter like glass. Oh I think so. I wonder if she knows that those cute little fluffy white baby seals drink milk all the time. But does she ask them to stop? Nope, beacuse she thinks that animals are more important than humans. Besides, if we didn't take milk from the cows, we'd just kill 'em all and eat them as steak and/or hamburgers. Maybe she would rather that? See, the dairy famers are actually just trying to save the lives of those cows by giving them a reason to keep them alive. But, if she really wants us to kill them, that's fine with me. I like steak better than milk anyways. Except on my cereal.

Is That... Willie Nelson?

K-Rock recently had a "Willie Nelson" look-alike contest, where the winner would get free tickets to the Willie Nelson concert coming up at Mile One Stadium.

Wow, I could hardly tell the difference between this guy are the real Willie. Yeah right. Unless Willie Nelson fell asleep in some of that Oil of Olay "look ten years younger" cream. He got the whole braids thing on the go, but his face looks nothing like him. But all things considered, this ain't a bad job. Maybe it's Willie Nelson from 600 years ago. This guy won the contest, by the way.

What a slow news day. The provincial budget was announced today... but nobody really cares.

Grab your Berets!

Looks like Newfoundland is going to get a lot more artsy-fartsy and a lot more cultured. As if The Rooms and all this crap the CBC has on isn't enough culture for us already. Danny Williams announced yesterday that they government would be spending 17.5 MILLION dollars on art and culture. Yes, that's right. This, a province in debt, and we're going to spend money on painting easles, restoring broken water jugs from the 15th century, bongo drums, and people stalking around a dim lit room with a blanket over their head trying to be "symbolic". If culture was that important and valued by the community, then it wouldn't need all this government funding to survive. If people liked the culture and whatnot, they'd keep it going themselves. Like Dr. Ian Malcolm said in Jurassic Park, "they had their shot, but nature selected them for extinction." Why waste so much money trying to bring it back?

One Long Year

It was one year ago today that 15 year old Matthew Churchill of Portugal Cove was killed in a hit and run accident.

He was walking with some friends along Bauline Line when he was hit by a car. He was taken to hospital, but there was nothing that could be done. He died shortly after.

But this great young man is certainly not forgotten. His parents have set up a website (www.matthewchurchill.ca) and memorial fund in his honor. The fund is for three scholarships that will be handed out each year. One is $100 award named The Matthew R. Churchill Grade 6 Award, shall be awarded to a Grade 6 student at Beachy Cove Elementary School. A $200 award named The Matthew R. Churchill Grade 9 Industry Award shall be awarded to a Grade 9 student at Leary’s Brook Junior High School. A $300 award named The Matthew R. Churchill Grade 12 Award shall be awarded to a Grade 12 student at Prince of Wales Collegiate Senior High School, and an additional fourth scholarship for post-secondary entrance. You can donate to this fund via the website given above.


But besides the fund and the website, there are many other tributes to Matthew. Tournaments were named in his honor, students wear wristbands of his favorite colours with his name printed on them, and his former band (Zero Tolerance) wrote songs about him and there are piles and piles of poetry and letters written of memories that people have had with him.

Traitor!

Oh no, not anther one. Yes, the parade of celebrities looking to have their name printed in the papers by protesting the seal hunt grows bigger. A lot bigger. Two big boobs bigger.

Yes, Canada's own Pamala Anderson has jumped on the bang wagon and wrote Prime Minister Stephen Harper a letter with the opening lines "As a proud Canadian who frequently travels abroad, I am alarmed that people are starting to see us as a country more beholden to a pack of greedy hunters and the seal skin fashion whims of a few countries than attentive to the massive international outcry against such a barbaric activity."

Barbaric? Hang on now, I sure hope she doesn't think by quoting Heather Mills McCartney that people are going to think she's cool. The seal hunt is not barbaric. Heather Mills McCartney thinks it is because somebody told her that the hunters use clubs, which they do not. They use rifles, like any other hunter. Do people call moose hunters barbaric for shooting a moose with a rifle? No, because moose aren't cute, cuddly animals. But even that's a weak argument, because it's not the white, cute cuddly seals that are hunted anyways. They only go after the big, fat, grey, ugly ones. But the McCartney's will never admit to that. And sure it seems a lot more graphic than shooting a moose, because, well, blood doesn't show up all that well against the foilage of a forest. But red seal blood... on white snow and ice. That shows up well.

Ya know what's a lot more barbaric than shooting a seal? Catching a fish. Think about it... if you have a choice of how you'd be killed, would you rather be shot, quick and painless... or have a hook stabbed through your face and then left to suffocate? But again, the McCartneys and other celebrities will never boycot TSN for showing sport fishing, because fish are not cute and cuddly.

Nintendo Revolution: Works with Genesis

Ok, so Nintendo screwed up a bit with Gamecube by targetting little kids instead of the people who actually grew up with Nintendo. But so far, they're been doing everything right with their new Nintendo Revolution. Cool looking design, absolutly retardedly original controlers, and compatible with games from Gamecube, N64, Super NES, and NES. But wait! That's not all. Yesterday, Nintendo announced that not only would they release emulators for games previously released on the systems I just mentioned, but they will also be releasing emulators for Sega Genesis and TurboGrafx games! With over a thousand vintage games compatable with this system, and a team of game designers who are promising to put out some incredible brand new games, it seems that Nintendo may be on its way to reviving its glory days. The Nintendo Revolution is planned to be released before the American Thanksgiving, but Nintendo president Satoru Iwata isn't fond of a simulaneous world-wide launch.

In a related note, the actual name for Nintendo's newest console may have leaked out at a slideshow presentation Nintendo was putting off in Japan. Nintendo has been referring to their newest project only by its code name, Revolution, for the past year or so. But the slide here was shown by accident during the presentation, and may suggest that the new Nintendo system will be called "Nintendo Go". "Go" is actually the Japanease word for "five"... since this would be Nintendo's fifth system (not counting the multitude of Gameboys).

Seal Hunt Protesters Get Ass Rammed

Alright, some seal news! This doesn't directly involve Paul McCartney, but it's great nevertheless.

So the seal hunt began Saturday morning, and, as always, the protesters were just as ready as the seal hunters themselves. They were there with their taunts, insults, and video cameras. And the seal hunters finally took a stand. About time! The police sure does nothing to stop these protesters from bothering the hunters, so they have to take matters into their own hands. How would you like it if somebody came into your office or where ever you work, and starting yelling at your and heckling you all day? You'd get pretty pissed.

Now, the government does have laws in place against these protesters. They're allowed to watch, but have to stay at a distance of at least ten meters away. The protesters violated that space, but since there's no police to enforce the law, what can be done? Well, the seal hunters threw some seal intestines at them. Proper thing I say! However, the protesters were arrested on Sunday by fishery officials. They argued by saying that the seals rammed their boat; an argument that doesn't hold water. The fishermen own their boat and any repairs that have to be made to them comes right out of their profits. Again, to the office analogy, that's like when you have that person there heckling you, you get them to go away by smashing your computer over their head. Sure, they leave. But now you have to spend $1000 to get a new computer.

But perhaps they did ram them. After all, they're cruel barbaric savages... right Sir Paul?

Habs and Leafs Rematch

Ok, I screwed up. I reported that on Wednesday, the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Montreal Canadians met for the final time this season (The Bad Guys Win) . This, in fact, was only theird second last meeting. Saturday, March 25th, is the actual last time. And, I'm sorry to say, that the Leafs got hammered again by Montreal.

Seems to me like the Leafs just don't want to make the playoffs. I mean, they're not a terrible team. They got guys who can score (Sundin, Kaberle, McCabe, and even Tucker on certain nights), and in net they have the legendary Ed Belfore, and Mikael Tellqvist, who both have had horrible seasons. Sure they got rid of some of their best players (Gary Roberts, Joe Nieuwendyk, and Alexander Mogilny), but it's still no excuse for the incredibly aweful season they've had. Usually they wait until the playoffs to give up. This year they've started early.

Oh well. As they say in Toronto, there's always next year.

Remember Jason Greely?

Nobody has heard two words about this guy ever since Rex became Newfoundland's new favorite Canadian Idol. He had his time in the spotlight, and people got sick of him. Personally, I got sick of him after hearing him about three times on the show. So repetitive, so predictable. But he came back, and was a local hero for a while. Then he vanished.

Until tonight.

Jason popped up tonight on the CBC news. He claims that he didn't enjoy being the center of attention and hated not being able to walk out into public without anyone noticing him. He claimed to be so relieved to have the spotlight off him and just be an ordinary Joe again. Did I buy any of that crap he was saying? Not a word. If he was content with settling back into an ordinary life, then why is he back on the news reminding people that he exsists? I've only seen the guy once, at the Klondyke festival last summer, but he sounded so full of himself.

He was the opening act, and said to the crowd that he was "sure that everyone has been requesting [his] song on the radio stations." This attention craver has been at it for a while apparently. Even before his Idol apparence, according to people who knew him before, he was still big headed and always looking for people to love him.

No dice.

The Bad Guys Win

Who says the good guys always win? Last night, Toronto played Montreal for the final time this season, and it was possibly Toronto's last stab at making the post season. The Leafs have been handing Montreal its ass over and over so far this season, but not so last night.

The Canadians smacked Toronto with a score of 5-1 which is most definatly the end of Toronto's playoff dreams for this year.


And, to top it all off, Leaf's goldtender, Ed Belfore, was placed on in the injured list, ending his season early... and perhaps ending his career, at least in Toronto.

Montreal is now just one point back from the Atlanta Thrashers for the 8th and final playoff spot in the eastern conference.

Rex The Sex

Ah, Rex Goudie. Every ten year old girl's dream... or anyone who likes old school rock really. Though Rex came runner up on a show that really target pop craving junior high kids, most of his repertoire is classic rock, and even his original songs have a Guess Who/Rolling Stones/Blue Rodeo - ish sound to them.

Last night was his second show at Mile One stadium. Another sold out show, cept this time people had to endure Canadian Idol winner Melissa O'Neil for a bit too. She played some mixture of screaming, and baby sounding songs... and then, to the delight of the 6000 people in the stadium, Rex made his entrance to the stage... to the sound of, none other than, the Imperial March. After playing some of his own songs, and a few classics like "Turn The Page", by Bob Seger, and "No Suger Tonight", by The Guess Who, he left the stage... assuming the night was over. Then, in a panic, he rushed back, and exclaimed, "Woah, wait a minute b'ys, we forgot to sing the ode to Newfoundland. Can't be forgetting that. This is a hockey stadium, afterall."

So, although Melissa was painful to listen to at times, and Rex's little stories from living around the bay he threw in between songs were a bit hard to comprehend through his accent, it wasn't all that terrible. It's good to see that Rex didn't sell out to the pop industry and stuck with good ol' rock. I still don't understand why he's so sexy though...

Here's Melissa during her set. Looks like she just rolled out of bed. She really didn't match the rest of her band (or should I say, Rex's band, which she borrow for the night), who were all wearing suit and ties. They're hardcore.

I laughed a little when they came back for Rex's set, one changed into an AD-DC shirt, another into one with a skull and cross bones. Yarr... now they be hardcore.

Playoffs for the Fog Devils

I remember watching the Fog Devils' debut game at Mile One Stadium. That overdramatic ceremony and pathetic introduction of "Scorch", the new mascot... with guys climbing down from the rafters on bungee cords and wielding power weapons with laser scopes. Apparently they wanted to shoot poor old Scorch because he escaped from his box. After I saw him, I was getting the same feeling actually. I was really pulling to see the Leaf's mascot, Buddy, return with the new team's logo on it, but no. We had this lame looking cartoon devil for a mascot.

But the mascot wasn't the only downer with the beginning of this new team. They also lost 8 of their first 9 games. After winning that first game at home, everyone thought, "hey maybe these guys will be good." But then everyone lost hope and lost interest when they lost the next 8 game after that. Then, after winning a second game, went on another 5 game losing skid.

But, despite it all, they managed to scrape their way into the playoffs, and are facing a team in the first round who they did decently well against all season long.

So, despite the bad team name, bad logo, bad mascot, atrocious record for the first couple months... this team ain't all that bad after all. They start to grow on you I guess... kinda like cancer.

Poking Holes = Bad

A couple of weeks ago, people around St. John's were shocked when a girl went home from school feeling sick, and ended up passing away a few hours later. This mother of two children who went to Booth Memorial High School had recently gotten a body piercing which got infected, causing toxic shock which killed her.

Now, I may poke a lot of fun in my blogs, but no, I am not going to make fun of this girl. That's cruel. But I AM going to make fun of the health minister in this province, who gave some incredibly insightful information the other day: "poking holes in your skin can cause infection."

I'll wait for you to get over the shock of that... ok that's more than enough time. Yes, this brilliant health minister apparently thought it necessary to say that if you jab a piece of metal, no matter how sterile, through your skin, it can allow bacteria to get inside you. Wonderful advice. The other part of the health minister's speach was her advice to the school age children: "If you want to get a body piercing... don't do it!"

I laughed when I heard that. An old lady telling all these rebelleous school kids not to do something... if anything, I think she may have inspired some to go do it. Sure everyone wants to be a rebel these days. Isn't that MTV's theme now? If that lady really wanted to discourage kids form getting a body piercing, she should've showed them her stomach with a big ol' dirty navel ring in it. Old lady with a body piercing... I'm sure all the cool kids will want to be just like her.

MENARD!

Eight days. Seventeen draws. Twelve teams. And a lot of TV watching for me. Ah yes, the Brier finals are here, and it's the third match up between Ontario's Glenn Howard and Quebec's Jean-Michel Menard in the tournament.

They first played in the round robin, where Ontario won. Then they met again in the One-Two page playoff game. Which Ontario also won. But hey, third time's a charm right?

Well, here's how the final match went down. Quebec got off to a great start, stealing a point in the first end and then shocking everyone by stealing a massive three points in the second. But Howard isn't the type to just give up after two ends. He battled back to take a deuce in the third and fith to head into the fifth end break, trailing by only a single point.

But tonight, it just wasn't enough. That 10-1 record in the round robin and two previous win against this Quebec team all means squat tonight as Glenn Howard's team crumbled at the hands of a very sharp Quebec team, losing 8-7. This is Quebec's first Brier win since 1977 when it was won by Jim Ursel.

So yes, I know I made a lot of jokes about those "Quebec fans", but who's laughing now! Both of the Quebec fans! We'll be seeing Jean-Michel Menard and Quebec team at the Worlds in Lowell, Massachusetts on April 1. Yes, Quebec at the world curling championship. That's no April fools joke.

Glenn Howard waves to the crowd after losing the Brier final, 8-7, to Jean-Michel Menard of Quebec.

;

Throwing it to the Pigs

Ever feel crazy and out of your mind? Cheer up, and read on my friend. You are certainly not alone, and probably not all that crazy after all.

So, this guy, Jakub Fik, in Chicago was out during a rampage Wednesday morning, and when confronted by police officers, he (yes, you know what's coming) chopped off his own manhood, and threw it at the officers. As if this poor, poor, crazy man hadn't been through enough... the police tasered him! Think having your junk cut off is the worst pain a man can experience? Nope. Chopping off your junk and then getting tasered. I'm sure that's much worse.

So here's what happened. Basically, this guy was going around town bashing out car windows. Just for fun. Then when the cops are called, he breaks into somebody's house. The cops are waiting for him in front of the house when he comes out... naked....and bleeding... and carrying a bunch of knives. He then starts throwing the knives at the police, and once he runs out of knives, he heaves his dick at them.

I've seen some crazy stuff in my days. Hell, even I've been weird and perhaps came across as if I have something seriously wrong with my mind... but never, ever in all my life have I heard of somebody so severely screwed up as this weirdo.

I wonder how he'll explain this one in the prison shower...

Semi-Final Saturday

The Brier's nearly over for another year.

A few days ago, I was pretty pissed that Kevin Martin was eliminated from the Brier. He was, by far, my favorite guy in there. I was hoping he'd win. But it wasn't to be. He was given the boot by Nova Scotia's Mark Dacey in the quarterfinals. And today, Dacey also met his match in the semis.

Last night, Quebec ran out of gas towards the end of their game to first place team Ontario's Glenn Howard in the "1 vs 2" page playoff game. So Quebec dropped down to play Dacey. The winner gets to take a stab at Ontario in the final match on Sunday.

Quebec roared out of the gates, going up 5-1 after the first three ends. It looked like they'd just steamroll thier way into the finals... but Dacey finally decided not to suck, and made a game of it.

Came down the last end, last rock. Quebec was up by two, Dacey needed to steal a pair in the tenth. No easy task. Obviously not easy enough for Dacey, because he blew it. He did, however, manage to steal one... but that wasn't enough. Quebec wins it, 7-6. They'll get another shot at Howard on Sunday.

See, I told you that all those Quebec fans had nothing to worry about.

One - Two, Buckle my Shoe

The way the Brier works, is that in the playoffs, one plays two, and three plays four. The winner of the one - two game goes straight to the finals. Loser plays the winner of the three four game, and the winner of THAT goes to the finals too.

Complicated yes, but who cares! That's curling for ya!

So here we go, the one-two game is on the go tonight, featuring first place Ontario, skipped by Glenn Howard, little brother of Olympic gold medalist Russ Howard (played 2nd position for Brad Gushue). Ontario is battling it out with second place Quebec.

Quebec, historically, was never terrific at curling. Of course, they have the hilarious Guy Hemmings with his stylish hair, but they've never been thought of as a curling powerhouse. Personally, I was shocked to hear that Quebec finished 2nd after the round robin.

But Friday night, the held their own against the 10-1 record team Ontario. Ontario started off strong by holding Quebec to one with the hammer in the second end, and then picked up a deuce in the third. But starting with the fifth end, the two teams began trading two point ends. Just when Ontario looked like it was getting some momentum going, Quebec would come and score a deuce. Then Ontario would take it right back. And Quebec would take another two. With the momentum swinging back and forth like this, it seemed that whoever happened to have the hammer in the tenth would win the game.

But in the 9th end, Glenn Howard played a nice tap back on his own rock to score two points, and took a three point lead into the tenth end, which put the game just a little too far out of reach for Quebec. Final score, Ontario 10, Quebec 6.

But Quebec isn't out of the tournament yet. They'll face team Nova Scotia tomorrow for a chance to earn a rematch with Ontario in the Brier finals on Sunday. So don't be too sad, all you Quebec fans... ha! Quebec fans! Yeah right! I almost said it with a straight face.

Martin Down!

One of the favorites to win the 2006 Tim Hortons Brier, and by far the fan favorite, Kevin Martin, went down in a blaze of glory in the quarter finals to Nova Scotia's Mark Dacey.

A close game, right down to the bitter end. Martin and his team from Alberta left Dacey a difficult double takeout with his last stone of the tenth end. If he made it, he wins. If he misses, Martin wins. Personally, I thought Martin had it in the bag when I saw the shot that Dacey had to make in order to win it. But hey, Dacey's a great curler and made the shot just right to pick up his two points, and the 6-5 win.

Martin, humble in defeat said with a smile on his face that it was a "great shot, power to him."

But, on a brighter note... Jeff Stoughton is eliminated also. Didn't even make the playoff. Sweet.

March Madness Madness

The college basketball playoffs, commonly known as March Madness started today... with a bang. Well, they thought it might, so they delayed the start of one of the games.

See, a bomb sniffing dog at the game thought he smelled a bit of gun powder. Who ever would've suspected that it would be the licensed pyrotechnics that were arranged to go off during the opening ceremonies. But, in true American fashion, as soon as that dogs ears perked up, they had that stadium emptied faster than George Bush can say "Yeeeee haaaaa!"

After searching the stadium and discovering that yes, it was only the pyrotechnics, everything went ahead as normal. Woo.

Lottos and Rollable Rims

Pretty much everyone has heard of that school in Montreal where some students' parents are fighting over a Tim Horton's cup. For those of you who don't know about it... here it is in a nutshell:

Teacher throws a Tim Hortons "Roll up the rim to win" cup in the garbage
Young student finds cup, has difficulty rolling up rim.
Student asks older friend for help.
The friend rolls up the rim, and the cup wins a car.
Now the parents of the two students are fighting over who owns the car.

Anyways, I was home today from University today because my neck seems to have spontaneously exploded, and I was watching The Price Is Right, and there was a this "breaking news" thing saying that two people down in the states are fighting over a winning lottery ticket. Apparently, one of the two neighbours were going out shopping, and asked the other if they wanted them to pick anything up for them while they were out. She was like "nah, just a lotto ticket." So anyways, the neighbour went out and bought two lotto tickets (one for each of them) and gave one to her friend. Then one of the women (not sure which one) had a winning ticket, and now the other says that she should split it with her because she could have just as easily had that ticket instead, and it may possibly have been her dollar that paid for that particular ticket.

Oh my, people are so complainy. So many "what if"s, "maybe"s, and "should've"s... I always thought the lottery was supposed to be just random luck.