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Thursday, December 28, 2006

Wii Wiish You a Merry Chriistmas.

All right, lame title, a lot of ii's. But hey, tis this season...
And this Christmas, all the best boys and girls got a shiny new Nintendo Wii stuffed in their stocking. And what did the even luckier kids get? The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Oh yes. The greatest launch title ever and arguably the best game every on any system. And, for all of you who love Link and all his crazy adventures (admit it, you know you love it) here is a one hour documentary on the kickass guy with the green tunic. Right from his days of 2D NES to his latest trip to Hyrule with the Wii. Enjoy. What an awesome way to kick off my 100th post to Club Seals. It's bee good times.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Peter Boyle Dies

Peter Boyle played Frank on Everybody Loves Raymond was are arguably the funniest character on the show. Personally, I think he was by far the funniest. No questions. His catch phrase "holy crap" was timed perfectly.

Nothing was ever funnier than when Robert and Raymond were fighting over the paint when they were painting Ray's house, and they accidentally covered their mom (played by Doris Roberts) with paint. Frank (Peter Boyle) comes around the corner and casually says "that could use another coat."
Haha, brilliant. Such a funny guy and his death is such a loss for comedy. Here's something I bet you didn't know. John Lennon was Peter's best man at his wedding. Cool, no?

Let's list off some of Peter Boyle's best quotes:

"“Opera? Just what the world needs: more fat women screaming."

"I could have eaten a box of Alpha-Bits and crapped a better interview!"

"You don't know a monkey wrench from a monkey's ass. "

"'Luck' is the residue of good planning."

"What in the holy name of crap are you talking about?"

"Holy Crap!"

"You're even dumber than I tell people. "

[Frank walks in to everybody yelling] "Be quiet! Be quiet! " [Everybody quiets down] "I'm hungry."

"Maybe that's why I like animals. Woof. Moo. Quack. They tell it like it is."

"You're a trophy wife? What contest in hell did I win?"

[Debra just got the book "To Kill a Mockingbird"] "I killed a bird once."

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Suck it, Muckler

John Muckler, GM of the Ottawa Senators, is such a baby. He had his shot last year to win the Stanley Cup, but that's gone and over now. Having stuck-up big headed players like Jason Spezza and Danny Heatly just won't cut it. Last year, they were the favorites to win the cup. That is, until the Olympics rolled around and their goalie, Dominic Hassek, was injured and out for the rest of the season. From then on, it was all down hill for the Senators and they were eventually blown out in the playoffs.

This year, they're picking up right where they left off. Sucking. Even though Muckler still says to the media that he has a dynasty in the making, the Sens were pounded 6-2 by the very very terrible Columbus Blue Jackets. Without Hassek, the Senators are nothing. They were never anything before him, and they're proving that they're nothing after him. The Sens coach thought that Hassek was faking the injury and refused to let Hassek be on the team again this year. That's just fine with Hassek. He moved to Detroit and is now their star goalie, and making more money and even gets more days off so he'll be well rested and healthy for the playoffs.

So John Muckler, you are the worst GM in the NHL... no matter how much money you spend on big-shot kids.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Kickass Music, Kickass Hot Sauce

Is there nothing Joe Perry can't do?

A few days ago, I wrote about the pricey investment that Aerosmith made in some photos. Looks like Aerosmith's lead guitarist, Joe Perry, is investing in other things as well. Like hot sauce. Yes, that's right. It's called "Joe Perry's Rock Your World Hot Sauce". He even has two flavors: Boneyard Brew, and Mango Peach Tango.

I'm assuming it's similar to most other hot sauces... but the fact that it has a picture of Joe Perry rocking out on the label... it just makes it so worthwhile.

According to Joe Perry, "It's great for people who like 'livin on the edge'..." Well, you know he was going to throw in a song title somewhere to promote this. At least he didn't say "You should buy this... cause you 'don't want to miss a thing'." That would've been lame.

In conclusion, I need to re-write my letter to Santa.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Water On Mars

They've been trying to prove it for so long, and now, they think they have. Scientists are now saying that liquid water has been found on Mars, or at least, it has been there within the past five years. They draw this conclusion from a few squiggly lines they found and they say that it had to be made by water. Maybe. Or maybe it's the same as when kids try to find pictures in the clouds. Obviously there's no actual pictures in the clouds, but if you want to see something bad enough, you'll see it if you look at a bunch of random shapes. I'm not saying there isn't water there, just don't get your swim suits on yet.

But what if there was? That'd be cool wouldn't it? Watching the aliens with their pool parties, going around on their yachts, little kid aliens holding lemonade stands... or... we could invade, steal their water, so we don't have to worry about polluting our own anymore. That's the human way!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Picture for a House, Anyone?

If there's one thing Earl Langdon would teach you, it's to always always always bring a camera with you. He recently received a house, yes a real house, from the five members of the rock band Aerosmith, simply for sending them a few pictures he took of them a long time ago.

Let me set the stage...

It's 1964, and Steven Tyler is the 18 year old drummer (yeah, it's weird, I know!) for his band called Chain Reaction. They're recording an album of mainly covers of The Beetles, The Stones, Animals, and Yarbirds. Nearby in New Hampshire, Joe Perry and Tom Hamilton are in a band called The Jam Band. Then, one fateful night in 1971 when both bands had a gig at "The Barn" in New Hampshire, The Jam Band was missing a few of their members. Brad Whitford offered to play guitar for them, and Tyler stepped up to sing. And bam... instant awesomeness. Aerosmith was born.

And Earl Langdon was there and got pictures of that first ever Aerosmith gig. Not thinking much of the value of his pictures, he sent copies of the pictures along with a letter, trying to prove his loyalty as a fan maybe score an autograph or something. Well he scored much more than an autograph. He received a letter back from Aerosmith's manager, saying that the guys never knew these pictures existed and, instead of buying the rights for the pictures, offered to buy a house for Mr. Langdon in exchange for the rights to the pictures. Earl wholeheartedly accepted, no doubt.

There hasn't been any kind of indication of what kind of house they'll be getting him, but you that when Steven Tyler, Joe Perry, Brad Whitmore, Joey Kramer, and Tom Hamilton chip in to get you a pad, it's gonna be one hell of an incredible pad.

You might be thinking, so what? Guy happens to have a camera with him on the right night. But remember... this was 1971! No tiny fit-in-your-pocket digital cameras back then. This guy would've had to been carrying around a big ol' honkin' film camera with him all night. That in itself is incredible.