Thirty Three Blind Mice... Or Dead Mice

Hey. Wow it's been a while. Sorry folks for not really updating lately. Started a new job this week, and it rocks. I'm working with the CFIA, extracting samples from food and them testing them to see if there are any toxins there. And yes, we test on mice.

To any animal rights weirdos who may be reading this, I don't care what you think. Do you know how long a mouse survives in the wild? Not long. Rarely no more than two weeks. That's why they breed so bloody fast. They'll be swooped up and eaten by a bird or a million other predators sometimes just days after they're born... and they die having served no purpose. But I give them a purpose. Without my job, their lives would have no meaning. They may have saved your life you know. When you sit down to dinner, you don't stress out before you chomp into your food. You don't constantly wonder whether or not you'll die from whatever it is you're about to eat. That's because people like me have tested it and made sure it's safe for you, by injecting it into mice. So, if you think testing on animals is wrong, bite me. Go out and hunt your own food, grow your own farm or whatever. Because whatever you're buying at the store, especially anything imported in, has been tested.

Personally, I think a few dead rodents that would've been eaten by predators or exterminated otherwise is a small price to pay in order to keep humans from dieing and saving what's left of the crippled Newfoundland fishery from costly lawsuits from exporting toxin products. So Paul McCartney, Heather Mills, Hilary Duff, and all you other hypocritical animal loving losers... I'm going to kill close to a hundred mice next week. And you know what? The Canadian government will pay me to do it. So ha!

Wii Genie Predicts Awesome Console

With the release of Nintendo Wii just around the corner, many people have many questions. And a new website has been made to answer many, if not all, of those questions. Introducing, the Wii Genie. A group of guys have put together WiiGenie.com, a site which features the Wii genie which will answer any questions regarding the Wii console. If the genie doesn't know the answer, it'll give you an opportunity to provide your own answer, and hence the database of answers grows as more and more people use it.

So give it a shot. These guys have been very nice to Club Seals in providing a link from their popular site to this blog, so I figured the least I can do if give them a little publicity. It is a great site though, check it out.

Bonds Broke No Record

Barry Bonds hit his 714th career homerun on Saturday, tieing him with Babe Ruth. No way Jose. Bonds is a cheater and in my books, and in the eyes of many people, Bonds has achieved nothing. His name should not enter the history books as anything other than a cheater.

People knew that Bonds could catch Ruth's 714 home runs this season, and many pitchers in the league agreed to walk Bonds each time he was up to bat. Some pitchers even decided to hit him with a pitch, but they were then ejected from the game. But each pitched received a standing ovation from the crowd each time they saw the ball bounce off Bonds' back or shoulder.

But Saturday, as Bonds' name was announced before the game, he was booed. Again he was booed when he went up to back. But the Athletics pitched, Brad Halsey, decided to be a big shot and try to strike out Bonds instead of walking him. Big mistake. Bonds connected and got his 6th of the season and 714th of his career, tieing him with Babe Ruth.

Although his stats may be impressive, nobody is impressed nor proud of Bonds, who has admitted that seven years ago he promised himself that he "decided to catch Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron, no matter how many chemicals, creams or syringes it took". In my eyes, Bonds is not an athlete and I don't even feel he deserves as much attention as I'm giving him. To me, Babe Ruth's record stands.

Oilers Into Conference Finals

The Edmonton Oilers put the finishing touches on their series with the San Jose Sharks and earn their first spot in the conference finals in over a decade. Michael Pecca scored a goal in the first period, and over 50 minutes of play later, it turned out to be the game winner. Edmonton put in another one in the third period, but Dwayne Rollison turned aside every shot to get his first ever playoff shutout.

So now all of Canada's hopes are on the 8th place seed in the west. It won't be easy. They're up against the Might Ducks, who have often been underestimated, but have been having an incredible playoff run. The Ducks set up a huge upset by knocking out the Calgary Flames in the first round, and then swept the Colorado Avalanche in the second round. Now they'll have to deal with another Alberta team.

Paul Has Enough

After seeing Paul McCartney and his dog, um, wife on Larry King a few months ago, everyone wondered how he does it. How does this guy put up with a woman that loud and obnoxious? Well, seems like he can't. Paul and Heather are calling it quits and getting separated after their four year marriage.

Normally it's not a big shock when celebrities break up, but Paul actually made an effort with his first wife, Linda, who died in 1998. Then he met Heather at a charity event in 1999, and they got engadged shortly after. But from the dogmatic, ignorant personality that Heather displayed on Larry King, it's a wonder that they even lasted as long as they did. If I were married to her, I'd be asking those "barbaric" seal hunters to put a bullet in my head.

Heather loves herself, and doesn't want to take credit for the breakup. She's blaming it on all the attention from the media putting a strain on their relationship. She also took credit for ending the seal hunt, which in reality simply closed at the end of the seal hunting season as it does every year. So Heather, no you did not end the seal hunt. But you can have full credit for the breakup of your marriage if you want. Enjoy.

Klondyke Concert Lineup

After last year's Klondyke concert managed to have The Guess Who as their headliner, it was very unlikely that they would be able to out-do themselves this year. Well, today they've announced their lineup, and although it's very very good, it's certainly no Guess Who.

There's a bit of Newfoundland talent in the form of Jimmy Rankin, then there's some Harlequin, Haywire and Kenny Shields & Streetheart. They also managed to grab a hold of of one of the stars at the Salmon Fest last summer, David Wilcox. But the cherry on top of this sweet sweet sundae, is none other than Tom Cochran.

Like I said, an impressive lineup, but certainly nothing close to the outstanding groups they had last year... CCR, Chilliwack, THE GUESS WHO!! Some of the Canadian Idols for the kids. But hey I'm not complaining. I won't be able to go this year anyways, so if they had some deadly guys going like U2 or Aerosmith, I may have cried.

Sony Pushes Wii?

Sony, the creators of the Playstation game consoles, are pushing Nintendo's new system; Nintendo Wii. Formerly known by its code name (Nintendo Revolution), the Wii is expected to completely revolutionize gaming. Sony executive Phil Harrison has recommended that everyone who buys a PS3 should also purchase the new Nintendo Wii. Harrison admits that Nintendo has really done an excellent job on the console and believes that any gamer should have the system. In addition to this though, Harrison is angry at Microsoft for criticizing Sony's pricing structure and therefore is pushing the Wii over the XBox 360.

Personally, I think it takes a lot of guts to promote your competitors. When Nintendo gave up on the Game Cube shortly after its release, it fell onto the backburner of most gamers minds. Sony, on the other hand, went all out in promoting and improving their PS2 and making sure that quality games were being released regularly for it, something Nintendo seriously needs to focus on. Although Nintendo is optimistic about the Wii, and it may even be the better system, it would still be a surprise if the Wii had higher sales than the PS3, simply because Sony has proved that it is serious about making a lot of games, a good quality games, whereas Nintendo severely fell behind last round.

Either way, I am pumped for Wii. Just those controllers make it worth buying.

Sens Are Out

At the beginning of the season, the Ottawa Senators were the favorites to win the Stanley Cup. The easily sliced through the defending Stanley Cup champs, Tampa Bay Lightning, in the first round in just five games. But now, in just the second round of the playoffs, they were stopped dead in their tracks, losing three straight games to the Buffalo Sabers. They managed to pull out a win in game four to avoid the sweep, but then Buffalo ended Ottawa's season with a shorthanded overtime goal.

Daniel Alfredsson, the captain of the Senators, really did not do squat in this series. Just kind of floating around on the ice, softly passing around the puck if it happened to land on his stick. It was a fitting end to their season that it was Alfredsson who was unsuccessfully guarding the overtime goal scorer. The captain really let down Ottawa, and all of Canada in a way, since Ottawa was thought be to Canada's best shot at reclaiming our cup. Now we'll have to hope that the Edmonton Oilers can continue their great effort. But really, nobody's going to get their hopes up on the 8th placed seed going all the way. So it looks like Canada will have to wait another year to get back the Stanley Cup. Oh well.

Russian Chopper Crashes

Earlier today, a Russian helicopter was performing joint rescue exercises with Japan when things got a little out of hand. When running a drill to simulate an emergency response to an oil spill and aid to stricken ships, one of the Mi-14's rotor blades touched the water, setting off a chain reaction which tore the aircraft to pieces.

There were 13 people on board, all of which got out of the crash alive. Three of them had serious injuries and were taken to hospital, but the pilot died on the way. The other two are expected to make full recoveries.

Because this was a training exercise, the entire thing was caught on tape, and the video of the accident is below.

Karl Wells Blows CBC's Cover

Tonight on the CBC evening news, weatherman Karl Wells accidentally let one of the stations secrets slip, and is now in sever hot water. While having their daily "couch time" at the end of the news cast, Jonathan Crowe (anchor) mentioned how there were no NHL playoff games tonight. Karl Wells the piped up, reminding his co-hosts Debbie Cooper and Jonathan Crowe, that Wells had won $60 off his fellow CBC employees during the previous round of the playoffs. It took him a moment to realize what he had done, but his two blank faced friends picked up on it instantly and desperately tried to change the topic. Maybe, just maybe, people hadn't picked up on the slip, but then Karl had to explain it and said to the other two, "oh no, did I just admit on provincial television that I participate in illegal gambling?" The other two chuckled nervously and Cooper attempted to say that only play money was used.

Either way, the cover was blown, and now Karl Wells could face severe diciplinairy action. The last thing the CBC needs is a scandal. For Karl Wells to ignite and pour fuel on a rumor that there is an internal gambling ring, news is beginning to leak out that the punishment may even be as sever as removing Wells from the daily news cast.

Bush Has Great Pronunciation

George Bush has taken a lot of heat for stupid thing he has said during speeches. But his fumble on attempting to say "the United States offers an apology" was just hilarious. The president pronounced "apology" as "apple-oggy". After a momentary pause, sensing that something wasn't right, he corrected himself. There were a few chuckles from the crowd.

I found it funny, but in all fairness, Canadians really can't say too much. After all, one of the longest serving Prime Ministers, Jean Cretien, could barely string together three correctly pronounced words. Moral of the story is that you don't have to be a good speaker to be a world leader. Don't even need to be smart.

More Fish In The Sea

Deep sea researchers have discovered twelve new species of ocean life in the deepest part of the ocean, near the Bermuda Triangle. We've all seen the crazy looking fish with the lanterns dangling from their heads that come from the deep sea, but before, researchers have only gone 1 000 meters below the ocean for research. But this time, they went deeper, way deeper. Four kilometers deeper actually. Among the new species they've found are a glowing pink octopus looking creature, an 11 meter long toothy fish which they're temporarily naming "the great swallower" (maybe related to Pam Anderson, ha... ha...), and (in the picture to the left) a transparent creature which may be related to squid and expels excess energy as light instead of as heat like mammals do.

The interesting thing about this discovery, is that the animals are large. Most of those crazy looking fish from 1 000 meters down were small, and all other life at that depth was microscopic organisms. So why are there bigger things, huge things actually, like that 11 meter long fish, living significantly deeper down where the pressure is significantly stronger. This is among the piles of questions that the researchers are going to try to answer before their research ends in 2010.

Cruise Changes Katie to Kate

Tom Cruise seems to run a tight ship. He told his fiance, Katie Holmes, not to take painkillers during labor and not to scream at all while she gave birth. And now Cruise has "suggested" that Holmes change her name from "Katie" to "Kate". He says that "Katie" is a little girls name and that "now that she's breeding" (yes he actually said that) she should have a more adult sounding name.

I know I've been doing a lot of stories lately about Tom, or Tommy as I will call him now (ya know, since he's not "breeding"), and I apologize for that. It's just that this wacko keeps on making the news by controlling his fiance with all this ridiculous stuff. This is one celebrity couple that is defiantly doomed for divorce, if the wedding even happens. Kat(i)e says that she is ok with all the suggestions that Tommy gives her and says that he's only looking out for her. After his suggestion, she agreed and now wants to be known as Kate. In the words of Nelly (I can't believe I've even been in the situation to quote Nelly... *hangs head in shame*), "Hey, must be the money."

Smith's Gold Hunt Is On

Gold digger and former playboy centerfold, Anna Nicole Smith was given the go ahead from the high court to fight for her right to collect half of her late husband's fortune.

Smith's dead husband was an Texan oil tycoon, who was valued at over 1.6 billion American dollars. Here's the fishy part. Why does a 26 year old topless dancer marry an 89 grandfather? Well it's easy to understand the man's motive, but what's she thinking? Money? Bingo. For over a billion dollars, even I may consider marrying an 89 year old for 14 months! That's how long the marriage lasted, when her husband died and Smith was ready to jump at inheriting the fortune.

But woah, slow down there bessy. Check the guy's will. Everything was left to his son. Smith was not mentioned as a beneficiary anywhere in the will, yet she insists that her husband verbally promised her at least half of the money. Hence, since his death in 1995 she has been battling in court to get half of the money from the son. She has a very weak case, and is only tieing up the Texas courts, but is very persistent and the courts are now allowing her to keep on trucking. My bet is, she gets nothing. An ex-stripper gold-digger's testimony vs. a physical documented will isn't the fairest fight.

Motor City gets Oiled.

Canada gets its second team through to the second round of the Stanley Cup playoffs as the Edmonton Oilers defeat the first place Detroit Redwings in game six.

Looked like the Oilers were going to throw it away after they slept right through the first two periods of the game, heading into the third period down 2-0. But local boy Fernando Pisani put in two quick goals for Edmonton at the start of the period, evening it all up. Detroit came back and scored one, but Edmonton tied it up again on the powerplay. Just when it started to look like overtime was going to be necessary, Ales Hemsky put one more in for the Oilers with just 1:03 left on the clock. It was too late then for the Red Wings to come back and Edmonton advances to the second round for the first time is 8 years.

They now join the Ottawa Senators, Colorado Avalanche, New Jersey Devils and San Jose Sharks in the next round.

No Koivu, No Chance

The Montreal Canadiens lost their captain, Saku Koivu, in game three of their series against the Carolina Hurricanes. Koivu took a high stick to the face which severely injured his eye and he hasn't even practiced with the team since. Although Montreal was winning the game at the point where the injury took place, they soon crumbled and lost the game and the two following games. In fact, they've only managed to score three goals since the injury. That has mostly to do with Hurricanes goalie Cam Ward playing extremely well, but the Canadiens just can't seem to get many plays set up and just seem to be wandering around aimlessly without their leader there to show them what to do. They're now just one game away from elimination and head home to play in game six on Tuesday. Montreal has not won a game at home yet this post season. It'd be a good idea to start now.