The Baby's Here

Yesterday I reported on Tom Cruise and his soon-to-arrive baby. Well it arrived. A 7 lb 7 oz girl. Keeping with celebrity tradition, they gave it quite an original name... Suri. Cruise claims to have chosen it because in Hebrew it means "Princess", but I prefer the Japanese-to-English translation of the word: "pickpocket". Yes, if Tom Cruise's baby ever visits Japan, her name will be Pickpocket. Maybe she'll just hang around with a lot of Hebrew speaking people instead.

The couples spokesman hasn't said whether or not Katie Holmes was permitted by her fiance to use anesthetics or not, and also didn't comment on whether or not Cruise ate the placenta. Although Tom Cruise is a devote Scientologist, a group opposed to medicine, he says that it was not because of his religious beliefs that he didn't want Holmes to have any anesthetics. What a shame. At least that was half of an excuse... all he has left to blame it on now is that he's an asshole.